Dysfunction Junction: Managing Holiday Stress

Categories: Holiday Stress, Thanksgiving

Ah the holidays. Images of golden turkeys carved table side, the warmth and comfort of family and friends, it’s all good right? The reality is few of us have holidays that even begin to approach the perfection depicted in glossy magazines.

Thanks to inappropriate comments, unfair judgement, unrealistic expectations, alcohol induced barbs, and emotional wounds that have gone unforgiven, holiday gatherings can be a hotbed of stress and hurt feelings.

How to deal:

1. Let offensive comments roll like water off a duck’s back and diffuse potential powder keg moments by changing the subject. This is a hard one but remember the crap they’re spewing is a reflection of the offender’s own inner turmoil, jealousies and insecurities, not yours.
2. Present a united front. Be on the same page with your spouse/sibling/whomever and have each other’s back. Bullies are far more likely to strike when you don’t have backup.
3. Get a hotel. This allows you to limit your exposure. You are no longer hostage to someone’s hospitality. This pulls the rug out from under a controlling host and you have a place to escape. I realize this isn’t really an option if you’re hosting, but who says you have to invite anyone to stay with you anyway?
4. Get your sweat on. You need the endorphin rush now more than ever. Find a turkey trot, hit the gym, go for a brisk walk before (and after!) dinner, or all of the above.
5. When all else fails, leave. Whether you leave the conversation, the room, step out for air, or pull up stakes and head for home (or that hotel I told you about), remember these are all options. Your sanity and well being are most important. Teach people how to treat you by not tolerating bad behavior.

I think one of the keys to surviving the holidays is letting go of the idea of perfection. We can’t choose our family but we can choose how much time we spend with them and how we react to them.

Here’s to a holiday filled with love, gratitude, understanding and joy!

Who’s cooking? Who’s traveling? Add me to the travel camp! 

Injury’s Silver Lining

Categories: Family Drama, Hamstring Injury, Holiday Stress, Mother-In-Law, Running

It’s been a trying couple of days.
Last night:
Thing 1: “Mom the lights on the tree outside are sparking.” Screams. “Now they’re on fire!”
This morning:
I got an email telling me Thing 2 spent $100 on iTunes for Bakery Doodle coins. Wait it gets better:
I entered the password without looking to see what she was buying when she asked so it’s all. My. Fault.
The topper:
I get to share a house for the better part of next week with none other than Hurricane MIL. At best there will be devastation in her wake. Pray we survive.

Here’s the silver lining
Injuries have a way of helping us see and be grateful for things we didn’t necessarily notice before.

Even though I’m still getting the barbed-wire pain for awhile when I run, I feel like the angry hamstring is progressing nicely.
Once the pain passed yesterday, I felt like I was flying out there.
I assure you I was not. I was nothing short of giddy with delight though.

Plus it was 48 degrees at a time of year when it could easily be zero. It was overcast and windy but also joyful, peaceful, hopeful and, dare I say it? I may have even felt STRONG! That strong run was enough to neutralize the Christmas light fire, the iTunes fiasco and even the prospect of Hurricane MIL and her impending doom.

I’m just so darn grateful to run at all. At any pace.
Time will tell, but yesterday, I think I heard the trees whispering “You’re on the comeback trail.”

I’m grateful:

• For voodoo hamstring therapy.
• For strong wind. Because I grow stronger by running against it.
• That we caught the fire yesterday before the whole neighborhood burned down.
• That Hurricane MIL doesn’t live closer. Although sometimes I’m strong enough to withstand hurricanes. And survive. Thrive even.
• That even Category 5 hurricanes eventually weaken and drift out to sea.