I missed my first long run in forever the other day and tried to atone for it by taking my pity party to the Group Cycle class I frequented last year when I was injured about a month before Boston. I have to admit I didn’t feel too badly about missing another frigid run across the tundra when I saw the single digit temps. Thank my lucky stars it was only 13 miles though.
Suffice it to say I’m still waiting to be bitten by the cycling bug. I’m beginning to think that A. said cycling bug has no teeth. B. I am not considered juicy prey or C. All of the above.
I slunk into the studio early so I could score a bike hidden in the back, fumble around and get going while garnering minimal attention to my ineptitude. New bike…. great. How the hell do I adjust it?
As I fumbled and tweaked for the millionth time, in walked the Dick Cheney look-alike I remembered from last year. He mounted the bike directly in front of me. Yes! All the better to shield me from the instructor’s critical eyes.
Then in strutted Lance Armstrong Sr. (another fixture from last year) in his tank top unitard that as far as I know, only wrestlers and serious cyclists wear. I pedaled away as more and more people filed in, clipping their fancy schmancy bike shoes to the pedals. Suddenly my Asics, which are of a vintage that requires Radiocarbon Dating to determine their exact age, felt vastly inadequate.
As I pseudo nonchalantly pumped away, in sauntered the Ultimate Puma (UP), all rippling muscles and nary a teaspoon of body fat, clad in unforgiving Zoot spandex. Where did he go? You got it, right next to me. He began cranking on the bike as if there was no tomorrow. If asked to describe my self-image at that point, a baked potato comes to mind. I sent up a small Novena that this puma doesn’t reek to high heaven when he really gets going.
UP chatted with the guy on the other side of him. Words like 50 miler, Ironman, and lactate threshold were flying more freely than swear words on a battleship. Then UP turned to me, we chat, I whine about my injury during Boston training and his face fell. “I’ve never been able to qualify for Boston” he says. “I missed a BQ by 45 seconds last fall.” Once I collected my jaw from the ground, I realized how awful he felt about it. Plus now he’s looking at me like I’m some High Priestess of the Boston Marathon. That’s when it dawned on me how much negative self-talk vitriol had been swirling like poison in my head.
If you’re still with me, here’s my point in all this. I have an annoying tendency to minimize my accomplishments and maximize my short comings. The whole achilles pity party probably magnified this personality quirk tenfold. So I put a few rules to remind myself of below before I start the next round of mental self-flagellation.
Don’t Be Down On Yourself!
I’ve become a master at this lately
Own Your Strengths
So what if mine isn’t cycling? Honestly I haven’t cycled enough to even say I’m not good at it.
So what if my muscles aren’t quivering beneath a virtually fat-free skin (yet)?
I have plenty of talents and accomplishments to be proud of–we all do.
Don’t Assume Everyone is Better/Stronger/Faster/More Accomplished Than You
Chances are they’re not
And if they are so what?
Everyone started somewhere
You’re in this for YOU
We shall bow down to the high priestess – oh crack, that was my back. You'll have to settle for a virtual bow!
Great post, I really like the nicknames. I really needed to read this right now. I hope you will be back on the road soon!
You ARE awesome! I'm glad you realized this before the class was over. Never judge an athlete by their appearance, you never know. 🙂
You're so right. Some hot shot got on the treadmill next to me the other day and started running fast and making me look bad, which ticked me off. But he was done in about 15 min. and I did 6 miles. So there!
FUN!! i love the message and i never do this so i'm totally on board. amennnn sistahh.
my strengths: I CAN ORGANIZE like a moFO. i'm really good at it. and i can organize other people's stuff, too. aka elliot.
i'm a good writer.
and… i have a great outside shot in basketball!
thanks for this opportunity 🙂 hope you feel better soon and get the next LR.
Excellent reminder! I'm proud of myself for hitting the treadmill at 6am this morning. Since that only happens about once a year, I'm feeling pretty awesome. ;o)
Are you kidding? I am totally in awe of you too. Hope the achilles heals soon. In the meantime, here's something to repeat to yourself everyday, "I am the high priestess of Boston".
I have a tendency to always compare myself to people faster or better than me (in my mind) too. Those are some great reminders!
Too funny. A great read!
I feel strong about my attitude… it is what gets me up in the morning.
Thank you for this- I need to be reminded of these things as well!
great post! i totally needed to read this as i minimize my accomplishments too and tend to not give myself enough credit. thanks 🙂
and you are awesome!! own it 🙂
so funny, I'd like to be sitting to UP right now in my Lit class hah
I love this post!! You are an amazing woman and such an inspiration…yay for having a BQ 🙂
Um yeah, I can seriously relate to the down on yourself stuff; today I woke up with a serious sore throat and feeling worse than last week. Err. I always feel so BA when I walk into cycling class with my cool clip in cycling shoes but it just takes me about 10 minutes for reality to slap me side the face and tell me I suck at cycling. I'm with you on C there…. you truly are an inspiration and so glad I read your post before I started my day!!! Thanks!!
This is a great post – and I can totally relate. I have had so much anxiety over Boston and Big Sur lately that all my self doubt talking has really ruined me…I have to stop it! Great job on the cycling!
P.S. Although I just saw you already got the sunshine award…I gave you one, too 🙂
You never know a person's story unless you ask, and it always turns out the other person is a human, just like you. The hard part is remembering that we are all accomplished in our own right.
Thanks, Marcia. I needed that reminder. Last week at the gym a guy started a conversation with me about running. During the course of it, Boston came up and I told him I ran it last year. Same thing – he looked so sad and told me he has never been able to qualify. In an attempt to make him feel better, I told him that being in my late 50's gave me a longer qualifying time. Next thing I know he's acting like, "yeah, that's not such a big deal then"! I gotta stop that self-put-down thing!
Hi Marcia,
Great post today:) It is so true that it is easy to get down on our selves but not look at the positives:) Thanks for the little pep talk Marcia…have a great day:)
Great post! You're in this for you…like it;-)
Oh yea! I totally need to work on that myself. Way to rock the ride, and I hope you are on the mend.
You should never doubt your awesomeness. You have achieved what very few can claim.
Thanks for the reminder that we are in this for ourselves.
AWESOME POST! I think we all need the reminders to be nice to ourselves! I feel strong knowing I have stuck with running for 45 days today!
What an eye opening experience. We so often get ourselves wrapped up in what we think and make unncessary judgements that only bring us down.
Great post! I think we're all guilty of that, which is sad – we're all bad asses in our own way, we should enjoy it. 🙂 BTW, there's a girl in my spin class who used to wear those unitards! LOL!
I would pay money to see a grown man in a tank top unitard.
Yeah, self bashing is a sport I'm quite accomplished at.
Yeah! Some of us would kill to qualify for Boston. 😉
I'm almost kind of sort of starting to get cycling. I still don't love it, but it's not 100% torture anymore.
I love how you leave a question at the end. I'm feeling particularly strong about my ability to PR in my marathon in two weeks. The only reason I am is because my coach forced me to come up with 10 reasons why I WILL PR. Thanks for the post. It's a good one.
Good post! I realized last night I tagged you and you were tagged in the same award tag I was in. You are so amazing everyone is tagging you for the sunshine award!
It's not only me that assumes everyone's better than me. Makes me feel so much better. I will try to own my own greatness.
Thanks for the Suart Smally pep talk! Today I feel strong that I was able to make my kids lunches for school, eat breakfast and get to work on time!
I just love the way you write! I swear if you wrote a book, I'd buy it. (You should think about it!)
Great post!
I needed these reminders, thanks!
Great post 🙂 Loved the pep talk, I have a really similar mindset to you, it's good to be reminded that it's not always the best way to think!
I feel strong about my tenacity – which seems to take me farther than my natural athletic ability!
I love your characterizations of everyone! I do this all the time to make the minutes pass by quicker.
Sending a little sunshine award your way! Hope you're enjoying your day 🙂
Great post! I am like you and minimize all of my accomplishments when I should be proud of where I am and who I am. It took me months to get the cycling bug and I was very awkward on the bike, but now I am in the groove and love the class.
I love it! So brilliant! You are awesome.
You are a true inspiration!!
BTW Thanks for the bloggy love!! I got your card in the mail on Saturday! Cute bookmark!! Thanks!!
i think we all underestimate ourselves and 'play ourselves down' at times. we definitely need to give ourselves praise for our accomplishments!
love your descriptions of spin class… sounds like a party. 😉
http://www.hudsonmohawkrrc.com/wintmaraps1.htm
The race is this weekend in Albany at SUNY Albany. It should be fun! 3-person relay. I think Chicago is a little out there but maybe you can find a cheapo flight! You never know. 🙂
That's such a great life lesson — and great post. We all fall victim to it now and then. It's too easy to compare, even when you're not trying to.